was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
