If i come over, it means nothing
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
