They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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