she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
