Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
