Don't you send me to vm
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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