Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
