he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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