Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
