she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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