they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
