yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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