If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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