hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize