i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
