Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
