would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
