With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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