fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
