i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize