so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
