I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
