someone get that fucking seahorse.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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