Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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