I think I am morally bankrupt
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
