We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
