Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
