Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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