apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
