yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
