bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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