Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
