didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
