i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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