You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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