i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
