Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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