I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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