My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize