the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
