i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
ok first of all what the fuck
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
