i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
