This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
