I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
BRING THE BAGELS
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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