I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
