i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
