I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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