Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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