In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
