you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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