There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
