I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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