I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
