Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
