I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
