I want to have your abortion
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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