too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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