How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize