So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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