so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
