So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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