Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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