"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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