Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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