do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
