We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize