Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
