i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
