i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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