If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
