What a fucking waste of an outfit
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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