Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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